What Are You Waiting For?

My Dear Husband said today, “Even if self-publishing somehow turns out not to be the ‘right’ choice for your career, it was the right choice for your life. You have more enthusiasm for writing now than you’ve had for years.” To which I responded, “I’m happier than I’ve been for at least a decade.”

And that got me to thinking about what was going on in my life ten years ago.  By 2001 I’d been writing for several years without making any sales. My father-in-law and my mother had passed. My father had Alzheimers. And of course there was 9-11. In the intervening years several friends died too young, one in an accident only nine months after marrying his sweetheart.

I don’t relate that to elicit sympathy. Many, many folks have much more difficult lives than mine. I’m writing this short post to remind you: Give your attention to what is most important to you.  If you do that, no matter how short or long your life is, when it’s over you’ll be satisfied.

Or to put it more bluntly: Stop dicking around! You are not guaranteed another day.


I’ll still be posting tomorrow as usual: VEILED MIRROR — Chapter Five

Also, check out my guest blog on Friday at Secrets of 7 Scribes.



Filed under Life, writing

20 responses to “What Are You Waiting For?

  1. You are very right. My husband is in a wheelchair and on a respirator, and we enjoy every single day we have to it’s fullest. In a way we are luckier than some healthy people.

  2. Great message, Frankie! Thanks for sharing.

  3. I totally agree. And I would like to add another piece of advice: Clean up all the important relationships in your life. Make amends if you have to. Forgive someone else if you need to. Express your love directly. Have any important (often difficult) conversations you need so that if you died tomorrow, you would die feeling complete.

    • Do I hear a little Landmark-speak in that post? You make very good points. I would also add the best way to “not dick around” as Frankie says, is to forgive yourself for past mistakes. Most of all, I recommend that we authors be ruthlessly compassionate in our own life as we seek to surround ourselves with those who support us, those who see possibility with us, and those who acknowledge their own bright light as well as ours. I have found that even immediate family can drop away from your life when they cannot stand in that place with you. That doesn’t mean you can’t love them and be a stand for their life, but it does require your love and respect for yourself be unwavering at times when it’s tempting to allow old conversations and ways of being to occur. Being an author is not for the fainthearted, but then neither is truly living.

      • I think one of the things that is really hard for us as caretakers of children and spouses and aging parents is to remember that we as individuals are just as deserving of consideration and care as those we are giving ourselves to. It’s not wrong to sacrifice for others. We should honor those who do so everyday. (Thank you to all our teachers, health care workers, police, fire fighters, and military!) It’s also not wrong to say, “This time is for me.” People around us sometimes need to be taught to respect that.

    • @ Maureen: I completely agree. Always take advantage of any opportunity to let the people you care about know that you love them.

  4. Frankie – I totally love this post!! And I couldn’t agree more. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow at the Scribes!!

  5. Frankie, everything you said rings true for me also. I just realized this week that I am truly happy with my life right now, and I know it has a great deal to do with indie publishing. My creative juices are flowing like mad, I cannot write fast enough, and I’m keeping my mind constantly active learning new skills and pushing the envelope. This is the perfect way for me to turn my writing into a business. And I’m one of those “slow beginnings” people! Doesn’t matter. The money is secondary for me. The adventure is life changing. 🙂

    Regina Duke

  6. Thanks for this post, Frankie! As I’ve been working a lot of overtime this month, the subject of placing my attention on what is most important has been on my mind daily. I recently posted on a blog that I had only one life to express and no guarantee of a tomorrow, so I wasn’t about to stay silent on something I felt was very important to authors as a group. This month has been filled with joyful reminders that being present to what’s most important is vital to my well-being. Thanks for adding your voice to that message!

    • @Roxy: What’s important can change or be in rotation. One week putting in overtime so you can pay the mortgage may be ascendant, the next, getting that next chapter done, the one after keeping a promise. As long as we’re aware and true to ourselves we’ll be fine.

  7. In many an interview since I first self-published in 2010, I responded to the question, “Why did you choose that route to publish?” this way: losing my daughter to cancer in 2003 made me realize that life is too short to put off your dreams forever. And I have never regretted the decision. Thanks, Frankie.

  8. You sure shook that bug loose! Very helpful post Frankie!

  9. Anne Francis

    Great post. Love the wise words from your husband. And indeed: carpe diem.

  10. Great post!

    Great comments!

    I have one of those signs in my dining room that state, “Live, Laugh, Love.” I really need to move it in front of my computer.

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